Proceed at own peril

i've been meaning to write for a long time but then i was in one of those lazy-bleh-aahh moods. i figured that rather than writing a post of my own i started writing blog-post length comments on other's. heights, i say!

these holidays have seemed longer than they ought to be. it is now that i realise the need for a routine in life. having a purpose can make the days seem short. recently, i also figured that i've become extremely critical. i guess its a result of idleness. though i have appreciated what people are doing and have done i seem to be waiting to find faults. not like i'm faultless. the Freudian interpretation would be that i'm using a defence mechanism to shield myself. an escapist! not exactly what i'd like to call my self.

contemplating has been one of my major preoccupations. its been a month since i visited the dargah in ajmer. the trip was courtesy a relative who'd been wanting to go there and dorn a carpet. well, since we were anyway going there we decided to go to pushkar too. it was amazing to see the differences and the similarities between the two religions that have always professed to be entirely different from each other.

the dargah was packed with pilgrims. squeezing in through the door way, touching the holy carpet and squeezing out was an experience in itself. one could see people from all social, cultural and economic backgrounds under one roof. one could hear the echos of the diversity in language our country boasts about. similar to hindu mythology islam too proclaims the achievement of moksha- i.e an abode to heaven through charity and goodness. like hinduism it believes in feeding the poor and down-trodden. the pradakshina path is present in both but the difference lies in the direction one takes. though i've mentioned only a fraction of the things that were similar one can only visit the two places to sense it in full measure. writing about it makes me feel like a fraud intellectual trying to trivialise the whole concept of religion which is one of the most controversial and essential institutions in our country.

pushkar was a more silent affair. i guess thats because we went there when the sun was just above our heads. jumping over the hot marble we reached the shrine that's been built for brahma. the only shrine in the world dedicated to the creator. apparently for some yagna he was expected to sit with his wife. saraswati's unavailability forced him to marry a woman from the district where the yagna was taking place. since the woman was from a lower caste she was purified by a cow and christened gayatri. saraswati was furious at this breach of trust and left in anger cursing brahma that no temple other than this would be built and that even in the built temple no worship would be conducted. the temple had a small window through which one could see the top of a mountain where a small temple for a saraswati has been built. she is beleived to have resided there and abandoned brahma. hindu mythology never fails to amuse one. there are infinite stories about gods and goddesses. what disappointed me about the place was its maintenance. the water level was lower than ever before and dirt in it was more than ever before.

though i walked on the turf of two of the most conflicting religions my feet burnt where the sun shone on the ground and felt the cool and damn earth where the trees provided shade- equally.

i apologise to the readers of this post. its probably the most ill-defined one. i think the heat's getting on my nerves.